May 2013
When I die, I want someone to keep updating my...
sodamnrelatable:
People be like
“It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.”
“Send food”
“Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?”
“Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…”
“Omg, Satan is so funny!”
“Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)”
“Hitlers a badass!”
“I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see...
chaosghost:
stoleyourgirlfriendand:
perrydaplatypus404:
“Rule #1 of Tumblr: Always reblog your crea—”
“This is our site! You must never tell anyone about Tumb—”
“IF YOU DON’T REBLOG THIS, JUST GO AND DELETE YOUR BL—”
“OMG GUYS TUMBLR WAS DOWN AGAIN I SURVIVED THE TUMBLR APOC—”
“OMG NOOOOO YAHOO BOUGHT TUMBLR! GOODBYE EVERYONE WE’RE ALL GONNA DI—”
“BUT IT’S DAVID KARP; HOW CAN...
worb:
to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names
if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it
prayers going up tonight. so many are heavy on my...
tw3rkingpizza:
I want my eyelashes to be as black as my soul and as long as the list of people I hate.
hazelgracelancaster:
when guys are dressed in suits and they unbutton the top of their shirt and they undo their bowtie but keep it hanging under their collar and maybe they roll up their sleeves a bit and their hair is all disheveled and
boys
"An Unquestionably Impeachable Abuse of Power: ...
tradethecycles:
“An Unquestionably Impeachable Abuse of Power: FLASHBACK 2009: Obama Jokes About IRS Auditing Political Enemies” http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/05/10/Flashback-2009-auditing-political-enemies …
tumblr has given me the worst sense of humor ever i’m gonna be so screwed for school like if some student catches on fire i’ll probably burst into laughter
Forget 2016, Worry About 2014 | Damn Straight... →
proudgayconservative:
I see a lot of speculation about who the best candidate for 2016 will be. Rand Paul’s name comes up a lot (my personal choice), Paul Ryan, Marco Rubio and a whole cornucopia of the regulars that seem to have run in every primary for the last 8 years.
That’s really not where our attention should be just yet. Honestly, so much can change between now and the primary season...
“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and...”
– Jenna, Waitress (via ttc-our-armybrat)
“The heart is extremely fertile soil. Whatever is planted there, good or bad,...”
– Abdul Nasir Jangda (via pfelps)
kansassiest:
i have no patience for people who bitch about problems they refuse to put effort into solving. if you aren’t doing a damn thing to fix it, you can’t complain.
kingofbear:
when someone says their eyes change colour
badassgunlady:
I got a dress that’ll show a little uh uh but you ain’t gettin’ uh uh if you don’t come pick me up
